The breakdown of a marriage or a relationship can be a challenging time in someone’s life. There are often a mixture of emotions; denial, anger, sadness, and relief, which can change over time. You may have relied heavily on your spouse or partner for support and guidance. In a relationship, it is common for each person to take on specific roles, for example, paying the bills, renewing various insurances, household cooking, DIY around the house, organising family visits, organising the school run and clubs, and so on. Life without your spouse or partner can bring feelings of loneliness and anxiety about the future.
After a break-up, consider who will be in your support network – a relative, a friend, a professional – perhaps all of them? I recommend you identify early what support you need personally, and support for any children of the relationship. Do you or the children need emotional support? Practical support around the home or with the children? Financial support? Legal advice from a family law expert?
I provide a personal and professional service to clients and advise on how to formalise the separation or dissolve the marriage, financial matters and parenting after separation. I represent clients who are going through the court process, and I mediate between separated couples and parents. Whether a client is in the legal or mediation process, a client will need to make an informed decision about their future. It is important for a client to be in the right frame of mind, and not feel under pressure by their ex into a particular agreement. Seeking support from other professionals, such as a counsellor or a family law consultant can offer a client strategies to cope with any emotional challenges. This can complement the legal or mediation process.
Consider also the following tips on looking after your emotional wellbeing after the breakdown of the relationship:
- Choose your confidante carefully, and consider whether it is appropriate to confide in a mutual friend of the relationship about your situation.
- Avoid expressing your feelings on social media about your ex-partner. I’ve written a blog on this subject here.
- Consider whether you seek support from a counsellor. A professional can provide a different perspective.
- Carve out some ‘me time’ and perhaps try a new hobby or a local class. Ask a friend or relative to babysit the children whilst you go to a class.